Use your big-girl words!

Ladies, Sex kittens, Shy Girls, Not-so-shy-girls a.k.a =  Women:

How often do you get "outside your head"? Are you truly aware how many messages you are giving yourself every day, regarding, how you look or feel, and more importantly how you "wish" your current relationship to "be"? Do you find yourself having conversations, alone, in your head? Get out of your head!

Say things outloud to your partner. "I want ______. I need ______. I desire______"

This may be a repeat, but don't start out your desires and wants with "You." It immediately puts your partner on the deffensive, as if they are doing something wrong. Come to the table, or the living room floor, or the counter-top, ok, fine....the bed, with your desires in mind.

Share them. Say them. An even better approach is to describe them in full detail, with descriptive words like, "slowly move your hand...." or "I like it when you...."or "It turns me on when you...."

Men will respond. I promise. (If they don't, check their pulse, and make them read this post with you!)

Women, this may come across as brash, or insensitive, but I shake my head, repeatedly, when I hear women say, "he should have known" or "he knows me better than that" and "doesn't he know I'm _______?" (you fill in the blank) I have never met a man who can read my mind. I have however met many men who "read" my neck line, and my ass, and my eyes. They are visual. If they like what they see. They want it. Undressed. Simple.

Men and even us women, need our partner to be direct. Plain and simple. Keep it short. It is completely unfair for any of us, man or woman, to be expected to read each other's minds. I don't care how long you've known each other, or how well you think you can predict your partner's moves, attitude, and libido. Don't make assumptions. Ask. Tell. Talk. Share.

 

I think we can all attest to the fact that men are much less complicated than women. Treat them that way. They truly do think with one head only. I have learned that makes it soooo much easier for me to communicate with them. No fluff. Just "stuff". (yes, pun intended)

Web MD states:

1. Men think more about sex.

"The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, reports Laumann. Only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency. As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often."
(great relationship and sexual intimacy articles on Web MD!! Take a gander!)

http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare

They are not our "girlfriends" so don't expect them notice when we change our hair, our nails, or try out a new lotion or face cream. And don't fault them for not noticing. This lesson was learned by me, very recently, and I will own that I do all the girly spa-type things for myself. It's a bonus for my man, because if I feel better, I automatically "look" better in my head and on the outside too, so it's a win-win. Men want to get down with the deed, and the sooner they can get there, the better, so consider it a "no-brainer". (you get this, right ladies, they aren't actually using their brain in the moment...c'mon work with me here) They want what we have, so as long as you are being respected, and you both have a mutual understanding that you two are respectfully engaging in adult intercourse, GO FOR IT! Just do it.

Gals, if you haven't tried a "move" like this before, I encourage you to:

I have been told that my "subtle" body language (yeah, yeah, some of you are now rolling your eyes, because seriously! me? subtle?) doesn't read well. My touching his arm, or rubbing my hand on his back a few times, does not equal "I want you". But apparently, grabbing my partners manhood, and kissing him at the same time, gets the message across very clearly! Who knew! Simple. Grab. Kiss. Go.

When you are in the "go" part of your moment with your man, get outside your head. If you hear a voice in your head whispering, slightly moaning, secretly wishing, or even screaming, just let her out! Say what's true for you, say what you want, what you desire, and let the "new ingredients" passing your lips into your partner's atmosphere, make a new kind of cake, because vanilla is just vanilla. Add some swirls of chocolate creativity the next time that voice inside your head is asking for something that might seem "risky" or scary, or just "too wierd", I guarantee your partner won't think so. I also promise that your partner has a voice inside his/her own head too, and it's probably wishing for something as well. Be the first to say your desire out loud, and see what kind of cake you make, just from that one little added secret ingredient!

Baking my own cake, in less than five hours....