His Cake/Her Cake, My Cake/Your Cake

Disclaimer: Today's title can support any relationship, be it heterosexual, gay, lesbian, etc. (the title, is simply for purposes of declaring separation of how we differ in our minds and how we express pleasures and desires)

"I want to have sex with you every day."

"I don't have energy at the end of every day to have sex."

"I like it when you talk to me during sex."

"I am too embarrassed to say 'those things' during sex."

"I have a fantasy I want to tell you."

"I never fantasize."

"I miss snuggling with you on the couch."

"I miss the blow jobs I used to get when we first met."

"I like it when you masturbate while I watch."

"I like it when you romance and wine and dine me."

The above "quotes" could be something anyone of us might say to our partner, when we are in a place where we are open and honest about a desire we might have, or how we feel suppressed, one way or another, about our sexual desires.

We are rarely "in perfect harmony" when we are about to engage in "cake-baking" with our partner. (If you are a reader who thinks I'm completely off my rocker, by making this statement, please do comment on this blog, because if I'm missing some magical moment, I'd LOVE to read about it) No matter our age, experience, lack of experience, or relationship status, all of us can learn a thing or two about communication and open- expression "in bed".

Maybe we want to spice things up in the bedroom, but aren't quite sure exactly how to say it. All of us have desires and needs, but are we actively sharing or expressing them with our partner? Are we "wishing" our sex-life away, by staying inside our own head when we make-love to our partner, like a robot?

I've never had intercourse with an actual robot, (but I have been "bored" in bed) and frankly, I will never go back to being "bored" in bed, because life is too short, and I'm much too aware of what a gift "cake-baking" can be!  (and my motto is, "I'll try anything -- twice!" but robots and intercourse, are a no-no in my book) As we get comfortable in our intimate relationships, and the "honeymoon period" wears off, we can sometimes become "habitual" in our responses towards our partner in the bedroom.

Change things up! Mix things up! Go out on a limb, and share a fantasy with your partner this week, if that is something you have never done before. Maybe while you are in the throws of passion, whisper what you like about when your partner does "this" or "that" to you, and see if a different body-response occurs, when you start talking about your desires, and your pleasure, right there in the moment.

Because the joys and excitement of flesh on flesh, can truly be heightened when we weave in our other senses, there can be moments of heightened arousal with our partner if we push the limits under the sheets! Talk about sex. Share your desires. Ask your partner what he/she enjoys about sex. Take a trip to an adult equipment retailer store. (smitten kitten rocks! 3010 Lyndale Ave S. Minneapolis, MN 55408)

This is a familiar game that I am sure we have all played before, but every time you read a fortune cookie, add "in bed" at the end of it. It is a wonderful ice-breaker, and just good clean fun....or it could turn into "dirty" fun, as well!

(fortune "stolen" from a FB friend!) Call it an inspiration!! Fortune: "You will never know your full potential, until you try" (in bed)

Let the "new" games begin!