Ladies, if you need a refresher on my "warning", read my very first blog post "Welcome Readers" . Trust that my expression of how annoyed I get when I hear women explain "why" they fake orgasms, is simply because we are doing ourselves, the universe and our partners a world of injustice, by "faking orgasms".
There are polls and polls, and study after study, about how women admit to faking an orgasm. Most studies will report, on average, "50% of women polled said they fake orgasms".
Tsk-tsk! Whoever thought it was a good idea to fake anything between the sheets, and then share that with other women, must not have ever had an orgasm! (that's the only way I can make sense out of such nonsense)
There is a great article and study by ABC News (2004) below. Interesting read, if you like stats.
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
Now all that being said, there is research that will weigh in on the opposite side of women and orgasms as well, so we could "run numbers all night" but I in fact am not here to debate statistics. (and I'd like to run some of my own "multiple numbers" later tonight so no time for a debate!) I am here to say, that no one, especially women, should ever feel like they need to fake an orgasm.
And if any of you have heard of British feminist and writer, Fay Weldon, who says "an occasional fake orgasm won't do a relationship harm" please wipe her advice from your memory.
[The whole point of this chapter in Fay’s book is that women do not necessarily need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. Fay thinks women can be intimate and still have fun and apparently her book points out that an occasional fake orgasm won’t do any harm to a relationship. That is probably counter to what you hear most feminists say these days - that women deserve an orgasm, and if their men can’t provide one then women should get one on their own.]
I suggest multiple-orgasms for wiping my memory clean! Multiple orgasms are like rebooting of one's psyche! I feel escape, and renewal when I have more than 4 in a series of cake-baking. Get me past 10, and I'm a-rock-in-and-a-rollin into a new day!
If you recall my post: "A 'Touching' Moment" you may remember that I reached orgasm simply through another means - intimate touch. It was not penetration. That is the true beauty of orgasms! For women orgasms come in all shapes and sizes! Let me repeat that: For women, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes! (this is why we should never need to fake one!) Women are multi-faceted, and have many buttons. What a gift we have to give ourselves, and our partner, if we are willing to explore all of our buttons and facets.
We insult our partner if we fake an orgasm, and frankly, we insult ourselves. Why would I go through the motions of flirting, arranging a babysitter, doing my hair and nails, shaving, waxing and prepping for the moment when I undress my partner, and myself and then fake an orgasm?! Seems rediculous to me.
Example: My partner is doing his thing. Those moves which he's been doing since we met. Some are awesome and still make my tummy flip. Some are old, and predictable. He enters me. We continue to bake cake, and in the "interest of time" I fake the cake! Now, what unspoken message have I just sent my partner? That his "skills" are working for me, and I guarantee he'll do those moves again, thinking they worked.
Men derive satisfaction from watching their partners pleasure increase and watching us climax. They are visual and territorial. Men are not as multi-faceted as women, so these basic cues they receive from us, are in fact programming them to repeat moves.
If we fake it, we give them false data. If we fake it, we really don't make it, bake it, or shake it. So, shake things up! (If you have been "faking it" in the past, and wish to move forward with change, DO NOT TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU'VE BEEN FAKING IT) Instead, add a new move to your cake-baking session, as a distraction from the "norm" and your partner will only notice the newly added creativity to your intimacy, and it will be a wonderful new adventure, for you both.
I hope all you girls can put away the easy-bake oven, and get an upgrade. One that bakes the best cake of your life! Cadillac ovens for everyone!
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
Now all that being said, there is research that will weigh in on the opposite side of women and orgasms as well, so we could "run numbers all night" but I in fact am not here to debate statistics. (and I'd like to run some of my own "multiple numbers" later tonight so no time for a debate!) I am here to say, that no one, especially women, should ever feel like they need to fake an orgasm.
And if any of you have heard of British feminist and writer, Fay Weldon, who says "an occasional fake orgasm won't do a relationship harm" please wipe her advice from your memory.
[The whole point of this chapter in Fay’s book is that women do not necessarily need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. Fay thinks women can be intimate and still have fun and apparently her book points out that an occasional fake orgasm won’t do any harm to a relationship. That is probably counter to what you hear most feminists say these days - that women deserve an orgasm, and if their men can’t provide one then women should get one on their own.]
I suggest multiple-orgasms for wiping my memory clean! Multiple orgasms are like rebooting of one's psyche! I feel escape, and renewal when I have more than 4 in a series of cake-baking. Get me past 10, and I'm a-rock-in-and-a-rollin into a new day!
If you recall my post: "A 'Touching' Moment" you may remember that I reached orgasm simply through another means - intimate touch. It was not penetration. That is the true beauty of orgasms! For women orgasms come in all shapes and sizes! Let me repeat that: For women, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes! (this is why we should never need to fake one!) Women are multi-faceted, and have many buttons. What a gift we have to give ourselves, and our partner, if we are willing to explore all of our buttons and facets.
We insult our partner if we fake an orgasm, and frankly, we insult ourselves. Why would I go through the motions of flirting, arranging a babysitter, doing my hair and nails, shaving, waxing and prepping for the moment when I undress my partner, and myself and then fake an orgasm?! Seems rediculous to me.
Example: My partner is doing his thing. Those moves which he's been doing since we met. Some are awesome and still make my tummy flip. Some are old, and predictable. He enters me. We continue to bake cake, and in the "interest of time" I fake the cake! Now, what unspoken message have I just sent my partner? That his "skills" are working for me, and I guarantee he'll do those moves again, thinking they worked.
Men derive satisfaction from watching their partners pleasure increase and watching us climax. They are visual and territorial. Men are not as multi-faceted as women, so these basic cues they receive from us, are in fact programming them to repeat moves.
If we fake it, we give them false data. If we fake it, we really don't make it, bake it, or shake it. So, shake things up! (If you have been "faking it" in the past, and wish to move forward with change, DO NOT TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU'VE BEEN FAKING IT) Instead, add a new move to your cake-baking session, as a distraction from the "norm" and your partner will only notice the newly added creativity to your intimacy, and it will be a wonderful new adventure, for you both.
I hope all you girls can put away the easy-bake oven, and get an upgrade. One that bakes the best cake of your life! Cadillac ovens for everyone!
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